On our wedding day(s) we laughed at the stuff that went wrong, knowing that we'd look back fondly at the silly things that slipped out of our control, and only last year we went out for a civilized brunch and ended up traipsing for nearly an hour through a muddy bog, before emerging onto the edges of a luxury golf course looking guilty. I suppose this is where the 'adventures' part of my blog name comes to the fore - and of course that little narrating voice in my head perks immediately up, preparing the story to come.
Most of our travel bloopers are
Why, yes, this is intentional bokeh. Totes.
Texas, United States 2016
I stood in Austin Airport, frustratedly trying to make the taxi app on my phone work as the battery charge simply slipped away to nothing. Having called our hotel not a 10 minute drive away, the reception staff were queued up to pop the camera (that I'd stupidly left in our room) into a cab which would whisk it over to us before we processed through security.
As I became more frantic as time slipped by (annoyingly we had already dropped our rental car in) the reception team offered to post the camera to me, using the credit card details that they had on file. Despite several calls since I've never been charged, but equally I've lost half of the best photos we took while on our fortnight of adventuring.
Damn cheesy instagram flatlay - my most expensive photo to date. Cost: One camera and months of annoyance.
Barcelona, Spain 2014
We most people conjure images of Barcelona, they think sun-dappled sangria, nibbing their way through delicious cuisine whilst soaking up the sunshine of the barcelona beach, exploring the glory of Gaudi's Sagrada Familia, strolling the world famous La Boqueria Food Market and climbing the breathtaking and mysterious Monserrat.
But not us. Perhaps the most frustrating travel mistake we’ve made foreshadowed our long weekend in Barcelona. Hopping off the metro train directly from the airport, we foolishly pulled our cases into one of the lifts to take us to ground level. Now, this activity isn’t normally an issue, but Barcelona is rife with pickpockets, and a couple of local young lads clearly spotted us as marks and hopped in with us thinking that my handbag was rich for the pickings. Unfortunately for them, I felt the movement as he wriggled his hand in – catching us both by surprise and when I then yelled as the lift door opened he dropped our kindles (possibly hoping they were iPads) and they scattered.
To add insult to injury, we stopped shaking from the adrenaline rush and walked into our hotel foyer, only to realise we were at the wrong end of town and should been at a different metro branch, as the hotel confusingly had a similar name. ¡Ay, caramba!
I have no idea who these people were, or why I took this photo, but there we have it.
Vienna, Austria 2016
With gorgeously delicate buildings, cake for miles and day trips planned that included a subterreanean lake and a gorgeous monastery with an Austrian Romeo and Juliet tale, we were so excited to finally make our way to Vienna for a long weekend. We enjoyed our short flight, wheeled our luggage to our private transfer and grinned as a national football team wandered through our lovely hotel foyer.
Pulling up to the ticket counter, the receptionist smiled, took our details and wished us that our 3 night stay was a lovely one. Wait, back up the bus, 3 night stay? I pulled out my planner - the one that controls our lives - and earnestly explained that no, we had a 4 night stay and it was all booked months ago.
This is a recreation of me collapsing and my gallant husband keeping me from falling to the ground in horror.
Clearly I didn't get my own memo, and pulling out the printed details of our lovely weekend, it turns out that despite my own itinerary organizing, I had somehow managed to knock an entire day off the trip. Not only that, but my Mr Kiwi spent one of our full days ill in bed with a bout of man flu, bravely waving me onto enjoy the tour that I had booked especially for him.
Auckland, New Zealand, 2010
My Aunt (who I've always thought of as my second Mum) kindly drove us to Auckland airport, ready for our long flight back to the other side of the world. We knew that we had loads of time, thanks to my nervous twitch about being early for flights, so we found a table at a small cafe and settled in for a quick cup of tea. Unfortunately we became so involved in our conversation that before we knew is an hour had passed and we had to sprint through security and down the seemingly endless corridors to our gate where they were personally calling us as the last people to board the flight.
Moral of the story? Tea is clearly bad for you.
New York, United States of America 2013
I have one regret and one regret only of our trip to New York, New York - a city so good they named it twice. We love exploring a city to get a real metronome of the city heartbeat, and just like everyone of my friends who adored it, we developed a city crush on New York. To develop this close relationship, taking public transport to get a little taste of local life is natural for us when getting from A to B. The people watching opportunities are just too good to resist.
Unfortunately in order to mess with the heads of tourists, one of the subway lines has three parallel branches that run along Manhattan and even more bizarrely has identically named stations. We left our hotel near Broadway, checked the map, hopped onto the subway and ended up somehow at the Ivy League Columbia University. Whilst it is a beautiful place, it was most definitely not the Harlem gospel church we had meant to visit to hear the gorgeous refrain of a RnB loving choir. It was also far far too late to find a cab in the surburban sprawl and sprint back across town.
Oh yeah, and I lost my camera at the end of this trip in Orlando airport. What is it about me & American airports??
So, what are your worst outtakes and bloopers?