Xenophobes guides to Kiwis: Reading Recommendation

“Vowels sounds can be a trap” Oh how my husband laughed – he always asks me what happened – “Captain Cook went to Nuu Zullund with 5 vowels, but you all seem to have lost 3 of them…” the worst words seem to be six/sex and pin/pen.



Last week, I ran through the Xenophobes guide to the English, so for all intents in being fair (got to have Fair Play) may I present the Xenophobes guides to Kiwis. It touches on our relationship with Mother England, our Anti-nuclear stance, our joy of understatement, icons, and sense of humour.

It’s nice to think that Kiwi’s like to tell other nations about our famour personalities; Edmun Hilary, Ernest Rutherford, Kiri te Kanawa and Karen Walker, but did you know that William Atack was the first person to use a whistle to stop a game, Godfrey Bowen used to be the worlds fastest sheep shearer and Ernest Godwin invented the spiral hairpin? Neither did I. It is very interesting though, how Kiwis have infiltrated the world and seem to be everywhere – my old boss had a 17 strong team of Kiwis in his business. How bizarre is that? We seem to have a good name for ourselves which is nice!

“There are more passports in New Zealand per million that any other country in the world” not a bad stat for a flightless bird!


“A common preoccupation of abroad Kiwis is to see how often their country’s name comes up in the paper” – I am absolutely guilty of this, and all of my UK family are just the same. What amazes me, is how often we’re mentioned considering that there is only a few of us. On a side not, it amuses me, and I was only talking about this at a blogger thing last night, is how often characters running away from home/work/crazy people run to New Zealand, seemingly the end of the Earth. Though to be fair even my hubby remarked when flying from Sydney to New Zealand, it does seem like you’re flying off the ends of the Earth!

I have only one complaint about the book, which otherwise is a funny, true and informative read. The author makes the claim that heaven help any Brit who criticises New Zealand, but the “Australian visitor is given leeway to criticise.” Um hello, are you sure you’re a Kiwi, sir authors?? It could be re-written to say that anyone who isn’t an Australian can poke fun at Nuu Zulland, and will be gently smiled at, but an Australian will just be called an Okker. Sorry, it’s true.


Read it, if only to translate a few of your Kiwi friends/colleagues/family sayings. It will be sweet as, I promise.


Have any of you come across any of the above Kiwi traits?

(Please note any links to Amazon are through my Amazon Associates account, which means I make a little money (less than 5%) from any purchases made after clicking through these links and it adds nothing to the price of your book. This helps support my book addiction, so if you are interested in buying the book, please click through the top link)

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